In Nomine - The Lotus Land

For 27 years I’ve been trying
to believe and confide in
different people I found.
Some of them got closer than others,
some wouldn’t even bother
and then you came around.I didn’t really know what to call you
you didn’t know me at all,
but I was happy to explain.
I never really knew how to move you,
so I tried to intrude through
the little holes in your veins.
And I saw you,
but that’s not an invitation

That’s all I get
if this is communication
I disconnect.
I’ve seen you, I know you but I don’t know
how to connect,
so I disconnect.

You always seemed to know where to find me
and i’m still here behind you,
in the corner of your eye.

I never really learned how to love you
But I know that I love you
through the hole in the sky
where I see you,
‘n that’s not an invitation

That’s all i get
if this is communication
I disconnect.
I’ve seen you, I know you but I don’t know
how to connect,
so I disconnect

Well, this is an invitation,
it’s not a threat.
If you want communication
that’s what you’ll get.
I’m talking and talking,
but I don’t how to connect
and I hold the record for being patient
with your kind of hesitation.

I need you, you want me, but I don’t know
how to connect,
so I disconnect.
I disconnect…

Communicate by The Cardigans

風が吹いて　痛い　消えない思い
何を持っていこうか　集めて一つ
二度とない　二度とない　捨てるなんて馬鹿みたい
無邪気になって　イメージ
As the wind blows, these painful memories won’t disappear.
What were you thinking as you collected the old songs into one?
There is no second chance. There is no second chance. I know how foolish I look
The image of becoming innocent

きっとそれは終わらない
きっとそれは終わらない
This definitely isn’t over
This definitely isn’t over

愛の胸　焦がせ 線の夢 渡れ
縦横無尽　駆けて　手に掴む世界
雲がちぎれて　日がまた落ちて
ひとりのパレードが　動きだす
The flaming sight of my passion crossing a thousand dreams
passing over the inhuman beasts I seize the world in my hands
The clouds scatter, and the sun sets again.
This one-man parade starts to move

母権 基地術 審判 上昇 明暗 遭遇 生命 相愛
Adventure, Lucky Days, Trials, Climbing, Light and Darkness, Encounters, Life, Mutual Love

もしも言ってしまうなら　あなたの髪を
嗅いで　吸って　もっと　寄せ合う言葉
ワカラナイ　ワカラナイ　うわべだけじゃわからない
だからもっと深くしたい　したい
なんて夢みたい
なんて夢みたい
愛の胸　焦がせ　千の夢　渡れ
縦横無尽　駆けて　巡り逢う奇跡
雲がちぎれて　日がまた落ちて
ふたつのパレードが夜空に溶けて
誰もが持っている　ポケットに沈めた夜がある
そいつを灯すように　手を伸ばしては泳ぐ人
見つけられたならいい　あなたの景色と同じもの
愛の胸　焦がせ　千の夢　渡れ
縦横無尽　駆けて　手に掴む世界
雲がちぎれて　日がまた落ちて
未完成のパレードでどこまでも
冒険　吉日　心拍　上昇　明暗　遭遇　生命　相愛

Você me deu asas e me fez voar,
você tocou minha mão, eu toquei o céu,
eu perdi minha fé, você me trouxe ela de volta,
você disse que nenhuma estrela estava fora de alcance,
eu serei eternamente grata, baby,
você foi um dos que me ajudou a me levantar,
nunca me deixou cair,
meu mundo é o melhor lugar por sua causa…

Portuguese translation of Because You Loved Me by Celine Dion

Minha anja do amor, te amo muito… *beijo*

Кто знает закон Бытия,
Помог бы и мне найти ответ.
Жестоко ошибся я:
От смерти лекарства нет.

He who knows the Law of Genesis
would have helped me to find the answer
I was cruelly mistaken:
there is no medicine for death

From братья

your dream world is a very scary place
your dream world is a very scary place
your dream world is a very scary place
to be trapped

your dream world is a very scary place
your dream world is a very scary place
your dream world is a very scary place
to be trapped inside
to be trapped inside
to be trapped inside
all your life

shine in time
shine in time
shine in time
until you find

you’re closer
you’re closer
to the truth

within you
within you
within you
is the truth

that your dream world is a very scary place
that your dream world is a very scary place
that your dream world is a very scary place
to be trapped inside
to be trapped inside
to be trapped inside
all your life

you’re closer
you’re closer
you’re closer
to the truth

within you
within you
within you
is the truth

– “Balance” - Anathema

Sometimes, some songs just ring so true…

This loneliness
has crushed my heart,
please let me love again
’cause I need your love to comfort me and ease my pain
or four seasons will bring the loneliness again…

Four Seasons of Loneliness by Boyz II Men

I have watched the last half of winter thaw, seen spring go by, summer fleeting by so fast, autumn quickly approaching…

And then she’d say that nothing can go wrong.
When you’re in love, what can go wrong?
And then she’d laugh the nightime into day
pushing her fear further long.
– Reamonn’s Supergirl

Some of these days just seem to from one minute to the next drag you down in this state of melancholy. Well ok, I admit, I’m one of those people who has emotion and empathy coursing through his veins.

To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage…

To me, this rings so very true. I find myself being stronger and stronger each and every passing day as I continue to love those whom would hate me (and of course those who like and love me), love the simplest things in life… And I am sure there are people out there who love me for whom and what I am, thereby giving me the courage, which was already inside myself, to excel more and more into reaching the utmost depths of my humanity…

And then I gaze across the water when I ride home on my bicycle and I breathe the deepest sigh…

Over the last couple of days I have been busy updating a lot of support within DragonFly, think of firewire support, ATA/SATA, AC’97, bridges, PCI definitions, and so on.
Lovely stuff.

Now if only my AMD Athlon/Asus A7N8X box would boot. Something is wrong with the nexus attachment.

At the moment de-OSSGing my TenDRA sources. If you’re doing whitespace changes run md5 on the resulting object file before and after the changes. They should match.

chak de chak de chak de // Cast it off…
chak de saare gam // cast off every sorrow.
chak de chak de chak de // Cast it off…
tere sang hain hum // I’m by your side!

Chak de, from the Indian movie Hum Tum…

Part of likewise named song from Sirenia’s ‘An Elixer for Existence’ album:

I feel the magic rushing in,
I feel the heavenworks ascend like a sun within,
all my travail is on the wane,
a lucid bliss sets in, and the world sails away…

I’m cold seed,
I’m your sweetest leaf,
I’ll ease your mind,
I’ll set you free…

My queen come rise in me,
hallucinations or a dream ascendancy?
I cry, come bring me on a high,
we’ll watch the angels fly, then we’ll ride the crimson sky…

Bought a bunch of new CDs:

Sirenia’s At Sixes and Sevens (to replace an accidentally badly scratched one),
Sirenia’s An Elixer for Existence,
Therion’s Deluxe Edition of Lemuria and Sirius B,
Theatre of Tragedy’s Assembly,
My Dying Bride’s Songs of Darkness, Words of Light,
and Katatonia’s Viva Emptiness.

I just love this song from Hoobastank:

I’m not a perfect person
as many things I wish I didn’t do
but I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
and so I have to say before I go
that I just want you to know:

I’ve found a reason for me
to change who I used to be,
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you…

I’m sorry that I hurt you
it’s something I must live with everyday
and all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
and be the one who catches all your tears
that’s why I need you to hear:

I’ve found a reason for me
to change who I used to be,
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you…